And no, I don't mean that I love engaging in the act of forgiveness where I am the forgiver and you are the forgivee. I mean my son forgiving me. I want it, but I have a harder time giving it. That actually kind of kicked me in the teeth tonight when I thought about how grateful I felt that all my crankiness from the day could just be swept away with a little laughter and love. Awwww.
I was cranky all day. I even threatened to not let him go see the fountain in the middle of the square because I was ready for him to take a nap. Nevermind that I had promised to take him several times throughout the day. It wasn't until he took on a joint effort to ask nicely with his nanna that I gave in.
I was cranky despite the pure joy he got from laying on his belly and sticking his hands in the water. I was even cranky when he held my hand, his tiny palm so soft and warm, to cross the street without my having to ask him twice.
And at the end of the very busy day when I finally felt bad about just how cranky I had been, he said from the back of the car (no, not the trunk, I wasn't that cranky), "Mom, I love you very, VERY much!" And when I said, "I love you too, babe" he said "awwwww, that's so sweet."
That's when I felt grateful for forgiveness. Thus the topic. I haven't evolved enough to talk about how forgiving I am. I only got so far as to think, "Man, I bet it would feel nice to someone else if I forgave them. Hmmm. Interesting."
The end.
No comments:
Post a Comment